Lisse's POV

I think Nico was dropped on the head as a child.

Often.

It's the only reasonable explanation for his complete refusal to demonstrate anything even related to discretion. That's what I like to tell myself, at least. That, and 'Don't kill him… The Headmasters will be displeased… Don't kill him… Don't even incapacitate him…' It's hard, though, when I have to see him in every class and he often follows me around between classes as well, just to be annoying. 

"Hey, Lissie," Nico called from the end of the hallway. Speak of the devil… My eye twitched involuntarily. 'Do not turn around. Ignore him and then maybe he'll understand that I don't respond to moronic pet names.'

"Lissie~" He repeated, closer this time. I walked faster. 'He is an idiot. He is not worth killing. Calm… Calm…'

"Lissie!" He slung an arm over my shoulder. "Didn't you hear me?" My eye twitched again. I was going to have a nervous breakdown at this rate. Using two fingers, I gingerly removed his arm. Then I glared at him. Grown men have wet themselves when confronted with my glare.

"Aww, you're so cute!" Nico patted me on the head. " You look just like a doll. A psychopathic one," he added as an afterthought. I could do nothing but watch in disbelief as he proceeded to saunter down the hallway ahead of me.

If there is a God, I will fucking mutilate him.

Just as I was considering all the ways I could remove various annoyances from my life, the bell rang, startling me. It wasn't often that the bell rang, as Milaek and Azami enjoyed taunting latecomers and usually did everything in their power to ensure that at least one person was late to every class. I consulted my mental schedule, noting that Ancient Military Tactics was next. It was an enjoyable class and excellent mental stimulation. The one time I had been lucky enough to play against Zenery, we had a preeminent game, though I ended up losing fairly quickly. However, another time I was forced to play against Caleb, who promptly excused himself from the classroom on one pretext or another. I just hoped that I was paired with a reasonably clever tactician this time.

Of course, I was confronted with Nico's self-satisfied smirk the instant I stepped through the door.

This was going to be a very, very long class.

~~~

My premonition was right. It was the single lengthiest class I have ever had to suffer through. Nico refused to do anything constructive and alternated between being annoying and being extremely annoying. Professor Vantas was occupied with torturing the unlucky Larimar and Xerin, who had the great misfortune of being evenly matched, and thus he had no opportunity to scold Nico for not actually participating. 

Evidently bored of pestering me from across the table, Nico slid onto the bench next to me.

"Go back."

"Not going to happen~"

If only the Headmasters weren't so draconian about injuring other students outside of Combat, I would have gladly flayed and eviscerated him right then and there. Luckily for both Nico and the last traces of my sanity, just then Professor Vantas got bored messing with Larimar and Xerin and announced, 

"Class dismissed, fuckers". I grimaced at Nico, fully aware that he would just follow me out of the classroom. 

"Don't even think about it." He grinned and shook his head pityingly. 

"Why would I give up a source of endless entertainment?" 

"… Someday, I will slaughter you."

"How lovely~" He wasn't intimidated, but did end up skipping (?!) down the hall ahead of me. I was really beginning to wonder about Nico. 

Thankful to finally be left in peace, I wandered in the direction opposite to the one he had just left in. I had the vague idea that there was a library located somewhere along one of these corridors, and a quiet and peaceful hour reading the Marquis de Sade sounded wonderful. Unfortunately, I hadn't taken any time to learn the layout of the school and eventually had to face the fact that I was lost. It wouldn't have been all that big of a deal, given that it was a respite from a certain ever-present source of extreme annoyance, except that Combat was next, and the unwritten rule was that anyone late to Combat would be suspended from the highest tower on a fraying rope. My familiar, who only ever appeared to taunt me, floated by. 

'Don't you wish Nico was here… annoying as he is, at least he knows the school inside and out.'

"No. I don't. And if you don't go away this minute, I will find a way to eradicate you."

'Tch.'

As if the mere mention of his name had summoned him, Nico's revoltingly cheerful face appeared around the corner. I decided, irritating as it might be, to take advantage of the situation.

"Tell me how to get back to the classroom."

"Hmm…" He tapped his chin, considering."What will you give me in return?"

"… What?"

"Lissie, darling, nothing is free in this world." He was patronizing me. 'Do not kill him… '

"Fine. What do you want?"

"Hmm… how about a date~?"

*twitch*

I placed the edge of my naginata gently against his throat.

"Would you mind repeating that?"